Below is a true account of how a group of managers of a well-known regional newspaper titles based in the Northeast of England were asked to firstly describe their Monday morning meetings and then write a story about how they would like the meetings to take place (apologise for the language in places but this is how they together expressed it)

Before - (Or, why we hate Mondays)

Most people arrive at the office between 8 and 9 a.m., stepping over the pigeon shit at the entrance and braving what passes for wit (most people would call it abuse) from Ron on the door.  The lifts aren't working (again), so it's a shattered team that gets together for the Monday morning briefing on the 4^th floor. At least, most of us get together as Arthur and Sally are late (again) and Steve B... (the Managing Director) leaves a message that there's a crisis with the Group Director (again).  He says we should get on with it and he'll try to be there for the ‘action summary'!

Dave was meant to have emailed us the agenda on Friday, but said he couldn't get it to us because of a pressing deadline.  How often have we heard that one from Editorial?!  As usual, Pete dominates with his latest special-edition-brainchild.  This one's called Pink Paper, targeted on gays and lesbians in the Newcastle area.  After 20 minutes extolling the power of the Pink Pound in Geordieland, a treasure trove for the ad people, Jo has her weekly moan about problems with the distribution chain.  No coffee as the machine is f...ed again.

Just as we try to get a sensible agenda together Steve phones again to say he doesn't look like he's going to make the meeting, so please could we email him the minutes.  Fred barges in and says do we realise that the conference room's booked for a production team meeting at 10, so we'd better get our arses in gear.  Jackie looks efficient and sharpens the pencils while the rest of us bugger off to Starbucks for a put-the-world-to-rights session.  Stepping around the dustbins at the entrance we pick up Arthur and Sally who are just arriving together looking rushed and flushed.  Another perfect start to the week!

After - (Or, why Mondays are OK)

Most of us get together around 4 p.m. on Friday.  It's been a great idea to allow staff to organise proper coffee facilities in-house, and as Pete is a fanatic about these things we have the best Gaggia possible.  Jackie's brought in fresh-baked donuts from the deli down the road and has made sure the conference room is clean and has fresh flowers.

We briefly chew over last week's ups and downs and set the agenda for Monday TOGETHER, with the proper time allocations.  Even Pete agrees, and we have time to think about the items over the weekend so we're already tuned in when we get together on Monday.

When we arrive on Monday we see that Ron has cleaned the pavement.  He gives us a warn welcome.  The lifts are working, everyone's on time, including Steve.  It was a good idea to say that we wouldn't have these meetings unless he was there right at the start.  He had a word with the Group Director who now knows this time is sacrosanct.

We decided a year ago to rotate the chairing of the meeting, so even Arthur's here on time (with no lipstick on his collar).  Everyone has their say, and Pete's got used to keeping his latest BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal) down to ten minutes.  Jo tells us what she's actually been doing to fix distribution problems.  They're not all resolved, but the worst glitches have been ironed out.  We have a laugh together about the competition's failed freebee and go off to work, decent coffee in hand, knowing that we're all pulling in more or less the same direction.